I got a call from my father this morning telling me about a news article he came across...a pro-fertility, pro-babymaking campaign going on the UK right now. Babies and Brits?? I had to check it out. I was shocked with what a quick Google search came up with.
 |
| Get Britain Fertile ad and magazine cover |
My beloved First Response is sponsoring the new campaign, which they are calling "Get Britain Fertile." You can read the full message here, but the main idea is encouraging women to start their families (or at least planning for their families) earlier in life, theoretically sparing them from the problems associated with fertility and pregnancy later in life. The face of the campaign is Kate Garraway, a British TV/news personality, who struggled herself with conception in her 40's. The ad features an "aged" Garraway cradling her fake baby bump. The ad is being met with mixed reviews, and with a topic so near and dear to my heart, I had to put in my two cents. And this is just MY personal opinion on the subject..
Since going through our own fertility struggles, I have been a very public (pushy?) advocate for TTC ASAP! I am constantly badgering my friends about hurrying to get pregnant! But..I AM ALWAYS JOKING. While there is always the possibility of someone struggling with infertility when they do start trying to conceive, I don't think that is a reason to have a baby before a couple is prepared financially, mentally or otherwise. It is such a personal choice and HUGE decision, and even though I am pro-early TTC, I definitely don't support the scare tactic this ad uses.
The campaign and associated articles implies that finances, careers, etc are relatively unimportant issues when compared with possible problems conceiving, and Garraway is even quoted as saying, "“I know careers and finances seem important but you only have a small fertility window." While I myself was guilty of a similar way of thinking, that was my own personal opinion, and I just can't believe this is being publicly pushed to millions of British women that are NOT ready to have a baby and, up until now, may not have even been thinking about it. To me, this is telling women not to worry about a career, finances or getting their life in order...and just to 'hurry and have a baby, and figure everything else out later.' That just sounds like crazy talk!
Garraway even goes on to hint at the idea of rushing into settling down with a partner...even if it is not necessarily the right one. WHAT? She says, “I’m not suggesting for a minute that you settle for the first half-decent man who comes along – every woman has the right to hold out for Mr Right – but you may find that really addressing your feelings about having a family means the man you thought was Mr Right comes in a different form. I suppose the word for it is mindfulness.” So...women should settle for someone sooner just for the sake of having a baby sooner? I have no words...
I have said to Matt on countless occasions, "I am so glad we didn't wait too much longer to start trying for a baby, because if I had been 35 and then had all of these struggles, we might never have a baby." IVF could have been unsuccessful for me later in life, my eggs could have been lesser quality, etc. BUT, all that being said, we didn't rush into trying for a baby simply because we were in an ideal "window." No, we actually waited about 15 months from when we started talking about it because we wanted Matt to establish himself at his new job, build some savings, move into a permanent home, etc. It is really the fact that I have been through problems conceiving that prompts me to personally believe people should start early "just in case," but I would never advocate throwing all of the responsibility of preparation and readiness out the window. It is easy to think that way AFTER you have been through it. I sometimes think I wish we had NOT waited that 15 months to get everything in order. I wish we had just started TTC immediately and figured out our finances, etc along the way...but of course that is only in hindsight. If we had done that and had gotten pregnant right away, we would NOT have been ready! (not that unplanned pregnancies aren't sometimes the greatest of blessings!) This is probably why Garraway, who had her children later in life and struggled with fertility herself, is the face of the campaign. She has a deep personal connection to the issue. But in my opinion, it should be exactly that...a personal take on something very personal, not a national public ad campaign.
Anyway..I could go on, but I think I would just be repeating myself. My main point is while, yes, I would personally support trying for a family early to avoid the problems we experienced, I think it is insane to try and frighten an entire country into making a baby when they are unprepared. Having a child is life-changing, challenging, time consuming and so much more, and it should not be taken lightly. Those women who choose spend their 20's and 30's establishing an amazing career, traveling, saving money, etc aren't doomed to struggle with infertility. Many women have NO problem conceiving, even much later in life, and we are so fortunate to live in a time when medicine can perform miracles. Plus...Matt and I are a perfect example that infertility knows no age, and even starting early doesn't guarantee anything. So...bottom line...it is a personal choice. Everyone has their own priorities, beliefs and timeline...shame on First Response for spending all that money I have given them over the past couple of years on this! 4 Comments »
From what I've witnessed in this country so far, there isn't any shortage of women with babies. Single women with babies. Everywhere. The undereducated ones seem to look at their children like tax credits and council estate housing. That campaign is fascinating though. It brings up quite a few more queries;) My main pondering is that of the government seemingly pushing for an increase in population. Why? and why now?
ReplyDeleteJust so you know : UKs fertility rate is only 1,84 which is not enough for a natural renewal of the population. When you get old, you may be thankful that some women out there have had babies, who by then will be paying for your retirement.
DeleteJust saying...
Thanks for posting this! So many people are completely ridiculous with offering their rather unwelcome opinions of how "older" women (you know, people like me who just turned 30) should get on with baby making. I get so frustrated when people judge me for having waited until I finished my doctorate to get married and even more irritated when they get on my case for not having jumped on the baby train yet. Everyone has their own timeline, and it's a personal decision that shouldn't be subject to such public scrutiny, much less scare tactics! Besides that, it drives me crazy when relative strangers make flippant comments about how a certain couple should be making babies already. Maybe they're trying and can't? Or want to and have been told that it won't happen? I'm pretty sure they don't want to discuss their heartbreaking situation with every random Joe who's like, hey, you've been married for x number of years, how come you haven't popped any babies out yet?
ReplyDeleteSun, thanks for the response!! I totally agree. I mean, like I said..I personally was in a huge rush for babies and kind of put aside everything else, but that was a personal choice and based on many personal factors. I think it is an incredibly responsible, mature and logical decision for someone to do the things they want to do, build a life, etc before starting a family. Especially because I now know, first hand, just how insanely difficult it would be to try and go BACK and do all of those things after having a child.. Oh, and I couldn't agree more about people asking when you will have kids and not thinking about the fact that you might be trying your best unbeknownst to them! We have definitely been through that, and it is not fun. People don't mean anything by it...usually fertility struggles in relatively young people don't even cross someone's mind. It is hard to bite your tongue, keep your mouth shut and remember that they are just joking and trying to get a laugh, but it's the right thing to do, I suppose!
Delete