Sweet Orange Fox

Well we are reaching the end of our road...err..rollercoaster. For THIS cycle anyway. I have a feeling the ride will never truly be over. The past week has been filled with so many emotions...so many ups and downs...I have never been more thankful to see Monday. The more-likely-than-not (statistically speaking) possibility that this IVF cycle will be unsuccessful invaded my head like never before. I tried every technique I knew to distract my mind, talk myself out of it, stay positive....but nothing worked. I became obsessed and imprisoned all at once by the thought of this not working. A night out with my family at Ruth's Chris and a bedroom makeover seemed finally to be enough to take my mind elsewhere. And since then I have been almost TOO positive I think...telling myself that this HAS to work. I am the prime candidate...everything is looking good and on schedule...there is no reason for this NOT to work, I say to myself. Once in a while I remember that these are all the same things I have been told with every Clomid cycle as well, but I am trying not to dwell on that. This IS going to work. It IS!

So here is our new and improved bedroom!!







I was going for the " boutique hotel room" bedroom feel. There are still several things to do....drop the TV cords down the back of the wall or conceal them, hang pictures, change out the fan to a chandelier and a few other accessory things, but all in all I am feeling good about it! It is coming together...and we did it without any major meltdowns! I am also proud to say everything came from TJ Maxx/Home Goods or some sort of discount store....we are on an IVF budget here, people!!! Anyway I love waking up in the new room, and I think it will be the perfect place to spend several days in bed while I am letting my embryos implant!!! Because they WILL, dammit.

Another update is that I finally started reading The Hunger Games a couple of days ago, and now I understand what everyone is talking about! I cannot put it down! I have forced myself not to read the last 50 pages, though, because I want it to last as long as possible. The second book of the trilogy should be arriving shortly, and then I will allow myself to finish the first.

What else? What else? Oh yes, well, I have now taken four stimulant injections..tonight will be the fifth. I was worried I would turn into a bridezilla of sorts...what would that be? Momzilla? Mom-to-be-zilla? Eggzilla? Yes, let's go with Eggzilla. Anyway I have heard absolute horror stories, but I have actually felt GREAT emotionally since starting the stims. Matt has even started sleeping with both eyes shut. We went for our first sonogram yesterday, and the follicles are looking GREAT. It looks like I will have 20 eggs total to harvest which would be wonderful. Hopefully at least half of those will fertilize and half of the fertilized ones will make it to the blastocyst stage. Then we will have the two best quality embryos transferred back in, and the other three will be frozen. That is all of course if everything continues going to plan. Which..so far...so good. Hope I didn't jinx myself.

So I guess that's all I've got for now. We have our next sonogram tomorrow morning, and hopefully the follicles are still growing (but not TOO much). I am exercising and drinking tons of water everyday to keep from getting hyperstimulated. So far it's working! More updates to come.